Where has the time gone??

Here it is March and I can't believe it has been so long since I blogged last. A couple of quick notes....

1. Hayden turned in his Eagle write-up last week and now we are just waiting for the Board of Review. I was THRILLED to have it finally out of this house and in the hands of the District Scout leaders.

2. I am now the mother of a teenager. Hayden turned 13 a couple of weeks ago and Cole turned 9. I have really been wondering where the time has gone. I love when my kids have their birthdays because I like to think about my life before and after they were born. I remember their labors and how amazing it was to look into their eyes for the first time, to instantly feel my heart exploding with love for them, and to know that just moments before they were in Heaven with our Father in Heaven. They are a gift to Sal and I from Him and I am thankful that he has loaned them to us for a time. In the blink of an eye, we are now years down the road and I realize that I only have a handful of years left with them. Honestly, I can't even think about it, because it will cause he to have an anxiety attack. I am just not ready yet to let them soar with their own wings.

Speaking of motherhood..... after 340 days I am FINALLY done breastfeeding. I have never nursed my babies this long and it is a day I have looked forward to. HOWEVER, it has been quite bittersweet for me. I honestly never thought I would feel this way. I am sad that I will never have another newborn baby in the house that is my responsibility. I will never nurse another baby. I will never have big boobs - leaking or otherwise - for Sal to enjoy. I will miss every single minute of it. Newborns are my absolute favorite.... I love being up with them in the night while the rest of the house sleeps....looking into their sweet face with only the glow from a dimmed light..... listening to them breathe while they sleep on my chest. YES I am having a moment... I am sad at all the things I will never do again. Funny that I will not miss maternity clothes or swollen feet, fertility hormones or progesterone injections for all of those things were needed to get me where I am today - a mother to 4 of the most wonderful kids ever. I am thankful for everyday that I have with them.

To Hayden, Cole, Olivia and Mason - I love you with all of my heart!!