Feelings of discontent

I don't know what it is lately but I am so discontented. Do you ever have days or weeks like this? I am not sure if it is because our best friends moved away or what, but I am ready for a change!! 

Last month I had enough with my work at home job and I applied for a job at US Airways. I didn't hear back for a month and then I did. I had a casual phone interview and of course it was EVERYTHING that I want to do in a job. Only the job pays nearly 25% less than I make now and would require day care for Mason and an hour commute EACH way. Total no brainer, but they wanted me to come interview anyway. As I thought about the job, the thought that came over and over was, "There will be other jobs, but not other children." As I thought about ways to make it work, the thought came again, "there will be other jobs, but not other children." I am one of those people that needs to be told several times, and during the day, I "heard" that thought more than 5 times. I had to be obedient to the feelings I had. The next morning I sent and email removing my name from consideration for the job. It was if a HUGE weight was lifted from my shoulders. Am I content? Not really but I am praying that the feeling of contentment will come. In the meantime I am changing everything else that I can - redecorating the house, cutting my hair.... I did find a quote that I just LOVE: 

Be Content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.

I am trying to abide by it.

Trek thoughts

Last weekend Hayden participated in the Stake trek. They walked from the San Tan mountains to the new Gilbert temple. All Day Thursday, Friday and Saturday, my thoughts were about Hayden. Where he was? What he was doing? How he was enduring? On Friday morning I got a call from Jodi Sawyer and she said that they were in need of more water buckets. She said that the trekkers had run out of water the day before and were 2 hours late getting to camp. She said Hayden was doing great and he came into camp with a huge smile on his face. Facebook was crazy with comments from Mom wondering the same things as I was. It was only then that I had an epiphany.

I thought of those Moms in Europe and England who sent their children to join the Saints in Utah. They had no clue when or if they would ever seem them again. Those Mom's didn't know who they would be traveling with or how they would get to their final destination. Those were true sacrifices, ones that I am not sure I could have made. I knew Hayden was in good hands with our sweet Bishop and his trek Ma and Pa. I knew that I would pick him up at 3:30 on Saturday at the Stake Center. I knew that if something happened, I would get a phone call. I knew that Hayden would be fed each day. I knew that he was safe.

Sacrament meeting was all about the trek. The youth speakers talked about their experiences and what they learned. They talked about the women's pull - where only the women were allowed to pull the handcart up the hill. They talked about the example in the Book of Mormon and how the Anti-Nephi Lehies buried their weapons of sin and rebellion. They talked about their families and how they were bonded together. I cried the entire meeting. The Spirit was so strong and my testimony grew be listening to their experiences. I was thrilled that Hayden was able to go. I was even sad that I could not participate in such an amazing event.

I am thankful for the men and women who had enough faith to cross the plains and settle in Utah where they could worship as they pleased. I am not sure I could have done it, and I am thankful to be born at this time. The sacrifices they made... to bury their children and spouses along the way, to give up all their possessions... those are true sacrifices!!

LONG absence....

Sometimes I get the bug to read and sometimes I get the bug to write. I am in a writing mode so I thought I would revisit my blog. I have had a few thoughts lately that I want to write down. Not sure why, but sometimes writing can be therapy for the soul. I hope in my case it is. Life has been changing and I will try to catch you up in the coming days..... not sure how long I will stay blogging this time, but I will enjoy it while it lasts.