Last week Sal and I were suppose to go with friend's to Charlotte, NC to a NASCAR race. We had planned this trip for 4 months and I was SO looking forward to going. You know me and trips.... I am ready and willing to go anywhere I have never been before. I was looking forward to no kids, sleep, and alone time with Sal.
However, as the trip got closer and closer, I started to stress about leaving a nursing baby for 5 days. Of course everyone said "Mason will be fine. He will get hungry enough to take a bottle." But everytime I would think about leaving, I would feel anxious and uneasy. One day I was rocking Mason to sleep, the house was quiet and I was thinking about how I could make this trip work. I thought of everything under the sun and then a thought came to my mind.... "A time and a season, Alicia". That was it, but I knew EXACTLY what it meant. It was my "season" to be at home with Mason, to be the Mom and I needed to cancel our part of the trip no matter what the cost. There will be other "seasons" for me to sleep, be without kids, and alone with Sal.
I have thought alot about this over the past week and although it isn't always easy, it is MY season to be the MOM. It is MY season to eat cold dinners because the kids are hungry and need a fork, a drink, a napkin, seconds please. It is MY season to help with Algebra while making dinner and keeping a cross baby happy. It is MY season to drive kids to Scouts, football, dance, cross country, school. It is MY season to fall asleep 2 seconds after I crawl into bed, to shower at noon (or later), to brush my teeth after eating lunch, to never wear make-up or have my hair curled (except maybe on Sundays). It is MY season and one day, it will all be over and I will cry because the house is quiet and I have an unlimited amount of time to myself. Until then I will try to enjoy every aspect of the journey and realized just how BLESSED I truly am for being chosen to be the MOM!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
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4 comments:
I think we all have those thoughts sometimes. I always say that I just want to stay at home and be a mom. But when I do stop working, I'm afraid I won't know what to do with myself! ;)
Thank you for sharing your true feelings. I have felt the exact same way. And although it was hard and I probably complained alot...I wouldn't have had it any other way. Of course now that my boys have grown a little (1st & 4th grade), I have been able to find a little MY time - just a little. But I will feel terribly sad when I get to the point where I have so much time on my hands that I don't know what to do with myself. Being a MOM is The Best! And, as far as I can tell, you do it Beautifully!!!
I love this post. In my emotional state, made me teary eyed. I'm glad you see things so well and are open enough to share with others!
I dont know why I didnt see this post before but what an amazing way of putting into words your feelings. You need to keep this and show it to Oliva some day when she has kids of her own. What a treasure!! Thanks for sharing.
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